Back to Basics

Woke up Sunday to pouring rain and grey sweatshirt skies. I hate when its cold - its almost May and jackets were definitely required.

After my usual stop at the 7-11 on the corner (for hazelnut coffee and the world's awesomest powdered donuts) I headed out to Leslye's. Plan was to meet her and another student to go look at a horse in a town about 30 mins away.

So, on paper (er, website) the horse seemed like a perfect match. EHarmony couldnt have done it better. Student in mind needs quiet, no-nonsense "I do not care if bombs go off next to me, as long as there is food" type. Horse - we'll call him "Blue" - looks lovely in pictures. Has been shown mostly AQHA judged local shows, and shown by a kid. He's done everything from western pleasure to huntseat.

We drive about 30 minutes to a 'public' indoor arena where we'll be meeting Old Blue. Pulling into the parking lot, we're all reciting the Two Wheel Drive Only Prayer otherwise known as "Please dont get stuck. Please dont get stuck." There are a few horse trailers parked outside, with a few sorry looking beasts tied to them. Leslye and I exchange the "I hope thats not him" look and walk inside to find Blue's owner. Luckily, she has parked on the other side of the arena, so NO, none of the horses tied outside are our Noble Steed. We collectively breathe a sigh of relief.

The optimistic little group that we are, we laughingly see this as a good sign! "Oh, he's over there! Phew!" Ha. Ahahaha. The poor little sorry soul on the other side of the arena looked like those 25 yr old broodmares you see at the auction. The ones who are being dumped since their babymaking days are over and some redneck, who hasnt bothered to worm them or trim their feet in 7 years, is yanking their back teeth out to demonstrate how 'broke' they are. I'd be 'broke' too, if you're 250lb butt was sitting on me, buddy... Anyway, I digress.

This poor guy just looks defeated. He's built like a limo and at least 150lbs underweight. Two white-blue eyes add to his half-dead appearance. He looks homeless - like he could use a meal and a shower. Apparently his owners were using that broken measuring stick that all horse sellers pass around, because "15.1h" was wayyy more like 14.3h. And, to top it off, his front foot is bandaged in vet wrap. Joyous.

We're assured that he "just cut his foot" and he's "fiinnneeee". Um, okay. What the heck, we're here. Saddle'em up. The saddle, honestly, looks laughably big and wide on him. Owner pulls out a full cheek single twisted wire snaffle. Yes, because Glue here has the energy to run away. *cough*

We're also informed that he needs spurs. As in, all the time, will not move without them. To recap, we just put a single twisted wire bit on this guy. Raise your hand if you're confused. Leslye elects to just get on him to "see what happens" - which we're betting will not be much. He's standing so camped under from back soreness, its just sad. A few good kicks gets him into a jog - and, shockingly, he's lame. The constant-tripping head-bobbing kind of lame. Poor creature. Owner assures us that he has "never taken a lame step" and seems rather irritated that we concluded, after 10 steps, that he is definitely not sound. Did she think buyers would be too stupid to notice? Or, furthermore, that for her $7500 (!!!) asking price, anyone looking to buy wouldnt vet him out?

I debated posting this, because its really not kosher to talk about someone's horse after you've gone to look at it. But then I thought, nah, she's not going to see this. And its just disgusting to me! That horse was NOTHING like the ad said he was. He looked like a rescue. If you're going to show your 150lb underweight, lame horse to people, then I feel like you deserve to get talked about. I would be embarrassed to say I owned that horse, much less show him to people with a $7500 price tag.